Rosalie's Mishap
by Carlisle Cares
Summary: Rosalie, tired of always getting the blame for the bantering between her and Jake, decides it's time to play a good prank on Jake. While their parents are in town for a bit, Rosalie decides this is the best time to act. See what happens. Warning: Will contain disciplinary spanking. If this is not your thing, don't waste your time reading or giving bad reviews.
1. Chapter 1

**Rosalie's Mishap**

**Chapter 1: Bad Idea**

_**Rosalie:**_

I have so had it with that miserable, mangy loud-mouthed mutt getting by with everything and always taunting me. Even when we go back and forth with our banter, I'm the one who always gets caught and gets in trouble. I am so sick of him. He once again got me today when I was coming down the stairs and started in on the look on my face. He kept saying I was in a worse mood than usual by my expression.

"Ha, look at the scowl on Rosie the Thorn Queen. She must have had a rabid raccoon last night for dinner and the effects are still showing up. Even her hair has black rings on it like the tail of a raccoon. Pull it back in a ponytail for us, Daniel Boone! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!" Jake went on.

"Shut up you fox! You're just a wolf wannabe!" I said back to him.

"Oooooo, I'm so insulted," Jake teased.

"You're an insult to everyone in this house," I said sarcastically to him.

"Rosalie! There is no need to get nasty," Dad said to me.

Yep, as usual, I'm the one who gets yelled at and sent to my room or I'm the one who has to apologize. Of course, this is exactly what happened here. I had to apologize to the mutt for saying he was an insult.

"Dad, he is an insult. He can insult me all he wants and when I say something back to him, I get in trouble," I said angrily.

"He's just teasing you. You let him get to you. Ignore him and he will stop it," Dad said trying to once again end our bantering.

"He will never stop aggravating me and you know it, Dad," I said to him.

"Your mother and I are going into town for a little bit and I expect all of you to get along and stop this nonsense and act like a family for once. I want no mishaps while we are gone. If we come back and there have been any incidents whatsoever, those involved are answering to me in my study. Understood?" Dad said to all of us.

"Yes Dad," we all answered him. Mom and Dad then left.

I went up to my room and Bella, Edward, Jake, Jazz and Alice were in the living room talking. Emmett was in our room and was playing one of his stupid video games that have no interest to me whatsoever. I was stewing about getting told about bantering with Jake again and I was determined to do something to get back at him. He always comes out the victor and I'm always sent to my room. I decided since Mom and Dad are out, now is my chance to give him a scare.

I always tease him about shaving his tail when he is in wolf form. I ordered a barber's trimmer and I am going to sneak downstairs and plug it in and act like I am going to shave his head. Too bad he is not in wolf form. Leah and Seth are out in wolf form doing a run. Jake didn't want to go this time. So he is in here acting like the mutt he actually is. Just so Alice doesn't get one of her visions of what I am up to. I am trying to block her. This going to be fun.

I found my clipper that I received through the mail and Emmett was so engrossed in his video game, I'm not even sure he noticed I came in our room and was rummaging around in the closet. This is going to be perfect. I just have to go down the stairs and since this clipper runs on batteries, I can sneak up behind the mutt and pretend to shave a strip off the top of his head. Probably doesn't even work that well anyway. I went out into the hall and turned the clipper on to make sure it would at least make the noise and it turned on and it actually worked. Now I can go down and come up behind the mongrel and give him a scare that will send him reeling. Perfect, finally I get the upper hand in one of our many pranks.

Walking down the stairs to the living room I hear all my brothers and sisters talking amongst themselves and not paying attention to what I am doing. Great, now I see the wolfhound sitting with his back towards me. Couldn't be more perfect if I had set it up myself. I'm going over to stand behind the mutt and get into the conversation. Here goes…

"What are you talking about?" I asked the group of my siblings.

"What's it to you Blondie? Everything we intelligent and non-blond people talk about is over your head anyway! Ha ha ha ha! Better put on your thinking cap if you want to join in with us! Ha ha ha ha ha!" Jake teased.

"Oh, you think you're so smart! You don't know the first thing about an intelligent conversation since you turn into a vicious, snarling, rabid beast!" I said back to him.

"Kiss my muzzle!" Jake said to me.

I grabbed hold of his hair and he twisted away from me and phased into a wolf right in front of me. Alice and the others were laughing as he came around and stood snarling in front of me. I held the clipper up in front of me in a threatening pose and he lunged at me, knocking me down. Jake jumped on top of me and tried licking my face. I heard more growling and saw that Leah had come in, still phased as a wolf when she heard the growling from Jake. She quickly came over to assist knowing we were clowning. I quickly turned the clipper on and it buzzed. I grabbed hold of Jake and threw him to the side and grabbed his tail acting like I was going to shave it when he came at me with his head and I grabbed hold of his muzzle and brought my hand up and he quickly turned his head and the hand I had the clipper in, grazed the top of his head shaving about a 1 inch swipe across the top of his head. I couldn't believe this cheap clipper actually worked!

Leah, seeing this, knocked me off of Jake and as I went to push her off of me, I brought my hand with the clipper up, she saw it and went to grab my hand in her muzzle, but I jerked it up and it also swiped a one inch swatch across the top of her head. She quickly tried to shake it off and my hand hit her in the side of the face and cut about a half-inch gash on the side of her face by her temple. Blood began gushing out. The others shrieked and Leah yelped and yipped and ran out the kitchen door to the garage. I stood up and Jake ran upstairs and phased back in his room. He then came running down.

Edward, Bella, Jazz, Alice and Seth went running out to check on Leah. I joined them and noticed the trail of blood drops leading all the way to the forest line where each of the wolves keep their change of clothing. I was shaking I was so scared. The others all turned to look at me with horror-struck faces. Emmett then came down from upstairs wondering what all the fuss was about.

"I-I didn't mean it," I said to them.

"You did it now," Edward said to me.

"Leah's bleeding, I hope she's okay," Bella said.

"You better not have hurt her," Seth said to me.

"Rosalie, you shaved a strip off their hair on the top of their heads! You better hope it's not going to show," Alice said.

"Oh no! I didn't mean to do it, they bumped into the clipper," I tried explaining.

"That doesn't excuse it, Rosie," Jasper said to me.

"We'll see when they come back," Edward said.

"HEY! Look what you did to me!" Jake shouted coming in now clothed. There was a loud gasp from everyone.

"Rosalie! Look what you did to him," Bella said aghast.

"I-I'm sorry Jake, I-I didn't mean to do that," I said trying to apologize.

"If he looks like that, what will Leah look like?" Jazz asked out loud.

"I can't see a vision because the wolves are near," Alice said.

"What a stupid thing to do. You ruined their hair and you cut Leah," Edward said angrily.

"I didn't mean to," I said again.

"But you did! You better hope Leah fared better than Jake because Jake looks…ah…Jake…uh…" Edward stuttered out trying to find the words.

"Jake looks what…" Jake asked.

"It looks awful! Looks like you're trying to invent a new hairstyle," Bella said to Jake.

"Thanks a lot mop head, you ruined my hair and looks. How long will this take to grow back in, I wonder," Jake said.

"I'm sorry Jake…" I tried apologizing again.

"Save it," Jake said walking outside looking for any sign of Leah.

"I think I see Leah coming," Seth said.

"Leah, come here so we can see how bad you are cut," Edward said to her.

She slowly made her way over to us holding her head. Blood was dripping through her fingers. I could see she was crying and was afraid to look to see what she looked like. It was bad. She had an inch-wide swatch of hair shaved across the middle of her head on the top. Blood was streaming down her face from the deep cut that was made by the clippers. As she neared, I felt terrible seeing her. The others all looked in shock at Leah and then at me.

"Rosalie, look what you did," Seth said angrily to me.

"Leah, let me see that," Edward said. Leah walked toward Edward still holding her head with blood running down her fingers, hand and side of her face.

"That looks bad, it needs stitches," Edward said.

"Let me put this paper towel on it to stop the bleeding," Bella said walking toward Leah.

"No, let me alone, I want to be alone for a minute. I'll be okay," Leah said beginning to cry more.

"Leah…I-I'm sorry…I-I didn't mean it…" I tried to say to her.

"Go away Rose," Leah said as she turned from me and started heaving and sobbing in the garage.

"Let's give her a minute," Alice said. We all turned to walk back into the house.

"I didn't mean it…" Rosalie said again.

"Man, you did it now Rosie," Emmett said to her.

"Look what you did to Lulu! Wait until Dad sees that. You're in for it big time," Jake pointed out.

"What'd ya have to do that for?" Seth asked with anger in his voice.

"I was just playing a joke on Jake, and…and…" Rose tried to say.

"And you messed Jake's hair and not only did you mess up Leah's hair, but you hurt her also," Bella said to Rosalie.

"Don't all of you go attacking my Rosie," Emmett said.

"Who should we attack, you, ya dunce? She did it!" Jake spat at him.

"Shut up Jake," Emmett said.

"Look what she did to me? How would you like it?" Jake growled at Emmett.

"Ya'll better shut up cause guess who just pulled in the garage?" Jasper said to them.

"Oh no," Rose said out loud.

"It's Mom and Dad; you're history," Seth said to Rose.

"Rosebush you're gonna get it good for this one," Jake said.

**In the garage:**

_**Carlisle:**_

Pulling into the garage Esme and I noticed Leah standing alone and she seemed to be crying and she was also holding her head. I noticed the smell of blood and saw droplets of blood on the garage floor. I quickly parked the car and Esme and I jumped out to see what had happened.

"Leah, what happened?" Esme asked. Leah turned to look at us and began crying loudly.

"Leah, what's the matter?" I asked as we walked up to her.

Leah then put her head up and looked at us and we saw that an inch-wide swatch of hair had been shaved off the top of her head. We also saw a deep cut by her temple near her hairline and it was bleeding.

"Leah, baby, what has happened?" Esme asked grabbing her in her arms. I put my arm around her also.

"Let me look at that cut, Sweetie," I said as I turned Leah's head so I could see the cut.

It looked deep. I pressed around it and it bled some more. I took the paper towel she was holding and put it up to her cut. It was still bleeding but seemed to be slowing down.

"This is going to need stitches, Sweetie, but tell me what happened," I said to her. Leah was sobbing but began telling us what happened.

"Rose…Rose w-was going after Jake w-with a clipper…and…and…I had just come b-back with Seth from a run…and…and…heard Jake growling and I tried to h-help and…Rose got Jake and me and shaved our heads and…and she accidentally…cut me with the clipper," Leah explained.

"Oh my goodness, you poor baby," Esme said putting her arm around Leah.

"I was going to ask if I could go on a date with David tonight. Now look at me! I look like some freak! I can't go on a date," Leah cried outright now falling into Esme's arms.

"Rosalie is responsible for this?" I asked her with anger now showing on my face. Leah shook her head yes.

"She really didn't mean it though," Leah said.

That was all I needed to hear. I let go of Leah and Esme and began walking toward the kitchen door to deal with Rosalie. This is enough with this bantering between her and Jake. Now someone has been hurt because of her prank. I was seeing red at the moment.

"Carlisle, please calm down first," Esme called after me.

I didn't say a word as I got to the kitchen door and threw it open and walked into the kitchen to find my darling daughter who was responsible for this fiasco. I was glaring daggers as I approached my now nervous brood as they could tell by my walk, the look on my face and the way I entered the house, that I was in no mood for any wisecracks or antics from any of them. I could see the others uncomfortably watch as I was making my way over to Rosalie who, by the way, still had the clippers in her hand. Rosalie was about to say something when I stopped her.

"Don't you dare say a word! How could you do something like this? What is the matter with you? Did you see what you did to Leah?" I said to her now face to face with her.

"I...I…" Rosalie stuttered.

"Pops, she didn't mean it…" Emmett said trying to placate me.

"Emmett! You stay out of this!" I said to him. "You not only messed her hair up, you cut her also," I said angrily. I then spied Jacob. "Jacob, come here," I called to him. He slowly walked toward me. I then saw he was also missing a swatch of hair. "Let me see your head," I said to him. He bowed his head down so I could take a look at it. It was just his hair missing, no cut. "You're lucky he is not cut," I said looking at Rosalie again. "Jake, did you start this?" I asked him.

"No Dad, I was just sitting here talking with the others," Jake answered.

"Edward, what happened here?" I asked him. Edward then filled me in on what happened. Esme had also come in with Leah who now had stopped crying.

"Daddy, I-I didn't mean it…" Rosalie attempted to explain.

"Rosalie Lillian Cullen! Stop! I don't want to hear it. You go wait for me in my study while I stitch Leah's cut for her. I'll deal with you when I'm through," I said angrily to her.

"But Daddy…" Rosalie attempted again.

"GO!" I said pointing to the stairs. Rosalie turned and flashed up the stairs. We heard my study door slam shut. I just looked up there. I almost went up to deal with her slamming the door, but I needed to stitch Leah's cut.

"The rest of you wait down here. Jake, are you alright?" I asked him.

"Yes Dad. Just upset, how am I going to go around looking like this," Jake asked pointing to the top of his head.

"Maybe with the advanced healing, it will grow back fast. Try phasing and see what happens," I suggested to him.

"Okay, I'll go do that now," Jake said as he and Seth headed out the door.

"When I'm through stitching Leah's cut, the rest of you go with your mother and leave us some privacy while I deal with Rosalie," I said to my children. They seemed relieved to hear that.

"Pops, she really didn't mean it," Emmett tried again.

"She did it though, and she caused Jake and Leah a great embarrassment. Imagine if one of them did that to her hair," I said to Emmett.

"Oh, Rosie would tear them apart," Emmett said smirking.

"Exactly!" I said to Emmett. Emmett looked at me and was about to agree and then realized what I was saying to him.

"Oh man, my Rosie's in for it, huh," Emmett said looking down at the floor.

"She deserves it too," Bella said. "They weren't doing anything to upset her, just minding their own business," Bella added.

"Hush up, Miss Goody two-shoes," Emmett said to Bella.

"All of you hush up," I said to them. "Leah, come with me," I said holding my hand out to her.

Leah and Esme came with me to my medical room and I cleaned and stitched her cut. It looked really small after I stitched it and I was sure there would be no scar. It looked and bled worse than the cut actually was.

"I think this will heal very nicely," I said to her.

"But what am I going to do about my hair? I can't walk around like this, or go on my date," Leah said beginning to cry again.

"Now, now, dear. We will put a scarf on your head and go into town and find the best wig we can. We can have it cut like your hair and then you can wear that and go on your date. Sound okay to you," Esme asked lifting Leah's chin up.

"Really? You think it will work?" Leah asked with a little hope in her voice.

"Of course it will. They make wigs out of human hair now and you can barely tell the difference," Esme said to her.

"You're beautiful no matter how your hair looks," I said to Leah.

"I'm not beautiful with a cut and this awful hairdo," Leah said tearing up again.

"Yes you are, you're our beautiful wolf girl. Nothing could take away from the beauty of your face," I said caressing her cheek and kissing her forehead.

"Thanks Daddy," Leah said to me. She walked up and hugged me.

This comment made both Esme and I stop and look at Leah with stunned faces. She noticed our shocked looks and gave each of us a wondering look.

"What?" Leah asked, puzzled.

"It's just…you've never called me 'daddy' before," I said to her. Esme smiled at her also.

"I didn't?" Leah asked.

"No, you didn't. I would remember that," I said to her smiling broadly.

"I've thought it often, I guess I never voiced it. It's how I feel about you. Do you mind?" Leah asked.

"Oh Leah, of course not, baby. I love it. Thank you, Sweetheart," I said kissing her again on her cheek.

"Come on, let's find a scarf for you to wear. I'm sure Alice will have something for you," Esme said as she led Leah to the door.

Alice was at the door waiting for them. She heard what Esme said to her and quickly ushered her up to her room to find the perfect match to the outfit Leah was wearing.

"Come on, we'll get you all set for your date tonight," Alice said to Leah. They went on their way.

"Carlisle, please don't be too hard on Rosalie, I'm sure she didn't mean it," Esme said to me.

"I'm sure she didn't, but it happened and she has to face the consequences of her actions. She would be inconsolable and uncontrollable if this happened to her. She will have to answer to me for this. She made life uncomfortable for her brother and sister all because of this bantering and incessant teasing. I'm afraid I'm going to have to make sitting uncomfortable for her for a bit. Although, she will be fully recovered in a few hours; too bad it will take longer for Jake and Leah to recover. That girl and her ideas," I said shaking my head.

"Do you want me to stay, darling?" Esme offered.

"No, take Leah and see what you can do for her. Can you find something for Jake also?" I asked.

"I'm not sure on that, darling, but we will see what we can come up with," Esme said.

Esme then kissed me goodbye and I heard her and my brood leave. Time to go deal with Rosie, the barber!

_**To be Continued…Next chapter will be the last. This is only a 2 – chapter story.**_

_**Please Review!**_


	2. Chapter 2 -- Clipped

**Chapter 2 - Clipped**

**Carlisle:**

Esme and the family had just left and I was still downstairs trying to get myself a little calmer before I went upstairs to deal with my hair-stylist daughter, Rosalie. I was still fuming about having to stitch Leah's face. Jake said that when he phased into a wolf and then back to human, his hair only grew back a little, so Rosalie is not off the hook. She needs to be careful with things. I decided I need to get this taken care of and slowly began ascending the stairs. I stopped when I got to my study door and took an unnecessary deep breath to steel myself for the task at hand. I then turned the door knob and entered my study. Rosalie instantly stood up and looked at me with a worried look on her face. I met that look with a very stern expression on my face. I stood for a few minutes in silence before I began a silent walk to my desk and sat behind it. Rosalie waited until I motioned for her to have a seat. She then nervously sat down and put her hands in her lap and kept her eyes down on the floor.

"What do you have to say for yourself, Young Lady?" I asked her.

"Dad, I didn't mean for it to happen," Rosalie said shakily.

"Well, it did happen and you also managed to cut Leah and cause her to have stitches. I do not enjoy coming home and finding I have to stitch up my daughter," I said with sternness.

"I was just playing a prank. I didn't even think those cheap clippers would work," Rosalie bemoaned.

"I would say they worked just fine. You're little prank turned into a disaster for your brother and sister. Now they have to go about with a strip of hair shaved off the top of their heads, not the side or back, the top! If they did this to you, we would still be dealing with the fallout of your wrath to them. Plus, you managed to cut Leah's face," I said angrily to her.

"But I couldn't help they ran into the clippers in my hand," Rosalie said becoming more defensive.

"Rosalie, you are not honestly going to try to pin the blame on Jake and Leah, are you?" I asked incredulously.

"Well, if Jake wouldn't have jumped on me and if Leah hadn't tried to rescue him, they wouldn't have come into contact with the clippers," Rosalie said with self-righteousness.

"Rosalie…" I said shaking my head at her.

"What? It's true! Those wolf siblings always stick up for one another. If Leah would have kept her nose out of it, Jake would be the only one with the strip haircut and not Leah! Serves her right for butting in," Rosalie said with haughtiness and stuck her nose in the air.

"Rosalie Cullen! You better drop that snobbish attitude this minute, my little princess, if you know what's good for your bottom," I warned her.

"How come I'm always the one in trouble when it comes to pranks with Jake and Leah and the others? What about all the insults Jake throws at me?" Rosalie asked with her arms folded in front of her.

"You know you are the one who causes those insults with the way you treat Jake. He has never done a prank that caused physical damage or harm to you or anyone, but you just did," I pointed out to her.

"Oh all right! I'll apologize to them for it. Happy now?" Rosalie said tossing her head to the side.

"No, I'm not happy. You will apologize to them, but you are also in trouble for this prank and the outcome to your brother and sister, little lady," I said to her.

"In trouble? I said I will apologize to them," Rosalie said.

"Yes, you will. However, you caused them harm and embarrassment and for that, you will be punished," I informed her.

"You're not going to spank me are you?" Rosalie asked leaning forward.

"Indeed I am, little girl, now come with me to the couch," I said coaxing her with my index finger and making my way over to the couch.

"Daddy! No! I don't deserve to be spanked," Rosalie said still seated on the chair.

"You most certainly do. If either Leah or Jake did that to you, you would be in my face insisting I punish them. You did the crime, you pay the price. Now come over here and stop trying to talk your way out of it because it's not going to work," I said with more sternness.

"No Daddy, please! I hate being spanked. Especially your spankings, they hurt," Rosalie whined.

"Spankings are meant to hurt. Now come over here and let's get it over with," I said to her. She still stood by the chair not moving.

"Please, not over your knee. I hate that," Rosalie whined again.

"Yes, over my knee; come on, you're not getting out of it, and I'm getting tired of telling you to come over here," I warned her.

"Da-ad, please, don't…" Rosalie pleaded again.

Having enough, I flashed over to her, grabbed her by the arm, turned her to the side and landed two hard smacks to each side of her bottom. Rosalie gasped and threw her head back and yelped.

"OOOuuuccchhh!" That hurt!" Rosalie said choking back her venom tears.

"Get over to that couch right now or it's going to hurt some more," I said to her.

This time Rosalie flashed over to the couch and stood waiting for me to take my place as she furiously tried rubbing the sting out of her tail. As I settled down on the middle of the couch, she gave me a resigned look as I patted my knee.

"Pants down," I said to her.

"Oh no," Rosalie said but did as she was told.

"Over the knee, princess," I said to her.

She begrudgingly walked toward my lap and bent herself over, grabbing onto my left leg as she dangled over my lap. I adjusted her to just the right angle and then raised my hand and brought it down hard and sharp. Rosalie threw her head back and yelped loudly and kicked her left foot up. I then repeated the action on the right side and began alternating between cheeks applying my stinging hand over and over. Rosalie was now crying and began kicking her feet and trying to reach back to cover her upturned target.

"Uh, uh, none of that. Get your hand away and stop kicking your feet," I warned her. Rosalie did not move her hand or stop kicking.

"I said move your hand and stop kicking," I said again with more authority this time. She still would not comply.

"Have it your way then," I said as I slapped her hand and smacked the back of each thigh.

"OOOWWWW! OOOWWWW!" Rosalie yelped again but this time did as she was told.

I began concentrating on her sit spots and thighs as I brought my hand down again and again.

"Are you going to pull a prank like that again?" I asked smacking both sides again.

"No! I won't, I promise!" Rosalie said crying.

"Are you going to be more careful?" I asked applying two more smacks.

"Yes sir!" Rosalie agreed.

"Good, let's make sure you keep your promise," I said as I once again covered her bottom, thighs and sit spots one last time. I ended then and let her cry it out. She finally settled down.

"All right, all done. Now you are going to lay her over my lap for the next 30 minutes, no talking or moving," I said to her.

"Ugh, is this what you do to Bella?" Rosalie asked.

"Yes, and the others. I find it works very well," I said to her.

"This is uncomfortable and humiliating," Rosalie said.

"Yes it is! Lay there and keep quiet and still," I said to her as I smacked her bottom again to make my point.

"OW! Yes Dad!" She said.

Rosalie laid over my lap like she was told and finally her time was up. I kept her down there as I addressed her once again.

"Think you learned your lesson?" I asked her.

"Yes Daddy! No more clippers," she answered.

"No pranks either. Especially, with props like that clipper," I said to her.

"Come on, Jake plays pranks on me," Rosalie growled.

"Then be careful and don't ever try to pull a prank as dangerous as that one again," I admonished her.

"Okay, can I get up now?" She asked.

"Yes, come on," I said helping her up. "By the way, you are grounded until their hair grows back," I said to her.

"Oh no! How long will that be?" Rosalie asked shocked.

"Don't know, but you'll find out now won't you?" I said to her.

"Crap! Any other time those wolves heal in a matter of minutes," Rosalie opined.

"That will be a good lesson in patience for you, and you can use that," I said to her.

"Ugh! Sorry, Dad," Rosalie said.

"You should be and you will apologize to Leah and Jake when they get back," I informed her.

"Okay, I will," Rosalie said picking up the clippers. She turned the clippers on and looked at them and giggled.

"You know Dad, someday I'd like to really shave that mutt's tail," Rosalie said holding up the purring clippers.

"Rosalie…!" I said getting up and coming at her.

"Whoa!" Rosalie shouted and made her way to the door. "I was kidding Dad," she said laughing as she flashed out of my study.

"I'm not kidding! You come back here you naughty little wolf groomer," I shouted after her laughing.

_**Later that Evening:**_

Esme and the others came home and Rosalie apologized as she was told. Esme and Alice found a wonderful wig for Leah to wear. You couldn't even tell it was a wig. Leah got ready and went on her date with her boyfriend, David. Poor Jake, they couldn't find anything to help him out.

We were all sitting down in the living room and Jake was complaining about his head. Jasper and Edward went upstairs and came back down with something hidden behind their hands. They went up behind Jake sitting on the couch. He had his back to them and Edward grabbed Jake's shoulders while Jasper quickly tied a pink ribbon under Jake's chin and brought it around Jake's head covering the swatch of baldness on the top of his head and tied it up in a bow on top of his head.

"There! Now it matches your picture over there of your pink ass!" Jasper said as he and Edward broke out in laughter. The rest of us did too.

"Watch that language," I said to Edward.

"Yeah, I'm sitting here with a strip shaved off my head and Dad's worried about language," Jake said as he ripped the ribbon off. "You guys think your so funny! Morons!" Jake yelled at them.

"Ha, should have made a stripe the opposite way and made an "X"! Ha ha! "X" marks the spot!" Bella laughed.

"Ha ha ha ha ha! Laugh it up, the clipper is still here!" Jake said as if in warning.

"That clipper is in my possession and it will stay in my possession! Is that clear to all of you?" I said eyeing all my children. They answered with "Yes Dad!"

"Hey wolf-bro! You have a little tuft of hair at the end of that strip. You should shave that off. It looks funny that way!" Emmett said grinning.

"Ha ha! You look funny every day! Besides, I want that tuft there," Jake said to Emmett.

"Why?" Emmett asked.

"I turned it into a fly landing strip. When the flies come in for landing, they need something to grab onto," Jake said grinning. The others chuckled.

"Really? Well, that's nice of you. Let's go out and see how it works!" Emmett said walking to the door.

We all looked at one another in disbelief.

"Come on wolf-bro, the flies are awaitin'" Emmett said motioning for Jake again.

"Is he kidding?" Jake asked us.

"No, no he isn't," Edward said.

"Get the hell out of here, Emmett!" Jake shouted.

"What? Come on, I can see flies buzzing around out there!" Emmett said with enthusiasm. "I want to see how it works!"

"Emmett, there's a team of psychiatrists somewhere out there just dying to study you!" Jake said to Emmett.

"Really? Well, why don't they call me and tell me when and where to come? Think I'll get paid for it?" Emmett asked bright-eyed. "Hurry up Dude before the flies leave!"

"Holy shit, that boy is dense!" Jake said.

"Language Jacob!" I called to him.

"Oy!" Jake shouted.

_**End of Story!**_

_**Please Review!**_


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